


Honeymooning

by Methoxyethane



Series: A Fish And A Bird [3]
Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: ALSO FINE STANDALONE, But it is totally crack, Established Relationship, Fluff and Crack, Fly-by-the-seat-of-my-pants-writing, Humor, I'm Sorry I Swear I Did It Out Of Love, M/M, POV Third Person, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-01-11
Updated: 2017-01-11
Packaged: 2018-09-16 17:32:53
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,002
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9282554
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Methoxyethane/pseuds/Methoxyethane
Summary: Or, five times Hunk somehow got caught in the middle of an intimate moment between Keith and Lance, plus one time they just straight-up made out in front of him.





	

**Author's Note:**

> I got tired of writing all the drama in TINLIS and missed fluff so HERE'S SOME FUNNIES FOR PAINHEALING

i.

Lance was not in his room. This fact itself by itself was not unusual in the least bit, but considering the fact that his friend couldn’t actually _walk_ right now Hunk found it rather concerning. Not the question of how he’d gotten out - they’d given him a wheelchair when it had become apparent just one session in the healing pod wouldn’t be enough to fix Lance’s  extensive injuries and he’d need to wait a few weeks to finish healing up. No, Hunk was concerned because this meant Lance was, once again, obviously ignoring the strict orders to stay put and rest they had all failed to impose upon him. Fortunately, after two years trapped in space with the guy, he became pretty predictable. To find Lance you really only needed to look for Keith. Or obviously, vise-versa.

As predicted, Lance didn’t take long to find. Hunk pretty much went straight for the training deck, and as soon as the door slid open the familiar sight of Keith’s small figure locked in battle with a Gladiator was well in view. And of course, next to the door Hunk hadn’t even stepped through yet was the tell-tale sight of an empty wheelchair, which meant you-know-who could hardly be far off.

Sprawled out casually on the floor with his head pillowed on his arms like he was gazing at the stars, there lie Lance; tucked against the wall not far from Hunk and wearing a smile that could only be described as serene. Hunk stepped inside, the doors closing shut behind him as he wandered over to loom over his prone friend, observing his face for a moment to see if he was asleep.

He was not, which wasn’t a real shock considering how uncomfortable the ground looked. After a while, Hunk broke the silence. “You’re not even watching him, dude.”

Lance’s smile, if anything, only grew, lips curling up at the ends like he was hiding a secret and eyes still softly closed. “I’m _listening,_ ” he said simply.

Considering that, Hunk opened his ears to the metallic sounds of Keith fighting a robot drone on the other side of the room, the clash of steel occasionally broken by slight grunts or exhalations in the tone of Keith’s voice. Kind of sounded like… “Dude, you’re gross,” Hunk decided.

Lance laughed. “Not like that!” He finally opened his eyes, turning his head a few degrees to catch sight of Keith with the corner of his eye. “This isn’t even what he sounds like during sex, anyway.” He grinned, waggling his eyebrows. “His sexy voice is _way_ sweeter.”

Hunk rolled his eyes. “Now you’re _definitely_ gross,” he said decisively, stepping past his friend to approach Keith as the Gladiator exploded into electronic nothingness.

Keith looked at Hunk for a moment as he reached the other paladin, before both of their attention was temporarily grabbed by Lance sitting up and beginning the slow process of heaving himself back into his wheelchair. “Did you bring him here, or did he show up on his own?” Hunk decided to ask.

Keith didn’t take his eyes off Lance. “I noticed him after about a half hour,” he shrugged. “I’d rather have him nearby where I know he’s not getting into trouble anyway.” The chair tried to roll out of Lance’s grasp, and Hunk resisted the urge to shout that it had a brake that would probably make help with that problem. “It’s been over a week. He’s gotta be feeling useless by now, which means if we leave him alone too long he’ll definitely start getting depressed.” His face twisted into a grimace. “And I totally suck when that happens. It’s better to keep him busy so he doesn’t fall into one of his self-loathing spirals to begin with.”

Hunk hummed in agreement, watching as Lance - indeed without anyone’s help - hefted himself into his chair successfully. “I’m far enough into Blue’s repairs that I figured he’d wanna see her,” Hunk finally offered.

“Ah, good idea,” Keith said, looking pleased. “I’ll come down and join you two in Blue’s bay when I’ve finished up here.”

Hunk nodded, figuring Keith would say something to that effect. And then, mostly to see how Keith would react, said “Sure, but he doesn’t need to be babysat. You know you don’t have to follow us down there, right?”

Keith blinked rapidly and wide-eyed, like the thought of _not_ following Lance had never occurred to him. “Um,” he said eloquently.

It was Hunk’s turn to laugh. “I’ll see you in like an hour, bro.”

 

 ii.

The Rec Room was a good place to hang out when the cold vastness of space inevitably got too quiet to stand, because it never took any effort to gather a whole mess of paladins in there to screw off for a while. It had been Pidge who’d gotten stir-crazy and nearly lost her shit today, and in no time at all Hunk had joined her with Keith and Lance following after.

Hunk was not sure how or why, but Pidge and Lance had wound up in some sort of jump-rope challenge with each other. And like, it wasn’t the jump rope that was confusing him, because Lance had enough time and charisma to whittle down everyone to joining him all the way to the point where he’d connived Allura and Shiro into a round of Double-Dutch. It was the fact that they’d managed to somehow turn it into a fight, trying to trip each other at any given moment for what seemed to be no other reason than the purpose of fucking with one another.

He and Keith were occupied in a game themselves, though it was more the playing card variety. Well. Altean cards actually had some weird suits they couldn’t quite translate into hearts, but somewhere along the line the paladins had smash-fucked some human and Altean game rules together to create about a half dozen things they could actually figure out how to play. The game Keith and Hunk were playing has somehow ended up in between rummy and chess, and as such was probably the one game that needed the most concentration to play.

So when Keith took a while to take his next turn, Hunk at first didn’t notice. Still occupied thinking about his next move after this, Hunk waited patiently for Keith to lay down a card. And then, perhaps two minutes after his last move, Hunk realized Keith did not have the patience to take this long deciding what card to put down, and actually looked up to see what had distracted him.

And at this point, Hunk really should have known. Hardly to his surprise, Keith wasn’t looking at either the table or his hand, which was hanging forgotten from the hand Keith wasn’t using to prop his chin up so he could rest his upper body weight on his elbow. He was looking across the room towards the left, eyes glued no doubt on Lance judging from the dopey contented smile sprawled across his face, whole body leaning unconsciously towards him like a sigh.

Hunk kind of wanted to sigh himself, but more in the long-suffering way. “We’re adults, Keith,” he said flatly. “That is your twenty-one year old adult boyfriend over there, whipping at a teenage girl’s ankles with a jump rope.”

“Yeah,” Keith agreed dreamily. “Isn’t he the cutest?”

Hunk abandoned his own hand onto the table. Kind of took the fun out of winning when your opponent was busy being an idiot.

 

iii.

Dinner was long over but it wasn’t quite into ass-o’clock at night yet, so Hunk figured he could be forgiven if he wandered over to the kitchens to get one last snack before bed. Hearing the long familiar sound of his best friend’s voice as he sang obnoxiously to himself was a welcome greeting when he got there, and Hunk was looking forward to the prospect of sharing a midnight snack with Lance.

“We can try, dry your eyes no reason to cry~! Take my h-AUGH!” Lance jumped when he turned around to see Hunk already in the kitchen behind him, grinning at the booty-shakin’ dance Lance had not realized he had been entertaining an audience with.

“Take my hog? Sounds like kind of a dirty song,” Hunk teased.

Lance recovered almost instantly, shrugging off his surprise with an easy grin. “Well you know me, Brown Bear. I can turn any song into an innuendo.”

“You can turn any _anything_ into an innuendo,” Hunk laughed, looking over Lance’s shoulder to see what he had been trying to make before he’d been interrupted.

Surprisingly, it wasn’t just a snack but a whole meal. Lance had taken some of the leftovers from dinner and breakfast like Hunk had been planning, but he’d set them aside to pull out a cooking pan he was just warming up with the apparent intent of frying up a couple of the vegetables from the greenhouse. “What’s this fanciness you’re whipping up?” Hunk asked curiously, pretty sure he remembered Lance eating plenty at dinner with them.

Lance’s smile turned soft as he poured a bit of oil into the pan, shaking it a little to spread it evenly across the slowly heating surface. “Ah, well, you know,” he said easily, fond exasperation coloring his voice. “Keith’s been really stressed out again after he and Red spent that whole last mission pinned under a building, so I’m sure he hasn’t been eating enough. He may have showed up for dinner but I didn’t see him eat a single bite, and he’s already too lean for how hard he works.”

Hunk watched Lance slide the handful of sliced vegetables from the plate onto the pan, sizzling against the hot oil. “Gonna shove some food into him, whether he likes it or not, huh?” He mused, thinking he might follow Lance’s lead on this fried pink tomatoes idea.

“Like I need to,” Lance boasted with a confident wave of his spatula. “The moment he gets a whiff of my amazing cooking skills he’ll be drooling all over the plate! They’ll be no holding him back.”

“Hmm, maybe,” Hunk mused, reaching for the cabinet where he kept all the spices he’d been collecting. “But only if you manage to actually add any flavor.”

“Ooh, is that the turpra rot we got on Dekuuna?” Lance asked brightly as Hunk slid a jar over to him. “I didn’t even think of that, that’ll be perfect.”

Hunk just smiled as he grabbed himself the leftover’s he’d come for, grabbing Keith’s to heat up along with his own while it was convenient. “Hey, since what he’s eating is mostly my cooking, does that mean I’m the one who gets a kiss from him for this?”

“Dude,” Lance said with complete seriousness. “If we actually manage to get dinner into him _I’ll_ kiss you.”

Hunk considered this. “That’s a nice offer, but. You’re a lot easier than your boyfriend. I feel like I could get you to kiss me if I just asked.”

Lance blinked, rubbing at his chin thoughtfully. “Yeah, I wouldn’t even ask any questions. I’d just shrug and plant one on you.”

Hunk laughed. “That sir, is the kind of blind faith you can only find in a true best friend.”

 

 iv.

Hunk was just wandering through one of the castle’s largely unused lounges when he stumbled across them.

First it was the sound of soft singing that had caught his attention, an odd thing to run across in a huge empty spaceship. When he rounded the corner to see who it was, Hunk was honestly a little surprised to realize it was Keith, curled into one corner of a long couch like a cat. “ _Beautiful sounds are breaking through the clouds, and… And the sun is shining down…_ ”

“Keith?” Hunk asked curiously, only to be immediately shushed with a low hiss.

One finger pressed to his lips meaningfully, Keith nodded his head down towards his lap. And that’s when Hunk saw Lance, head pillowed high on Keith’s thigh and one arm curled sleepily around his calf while the rest of Lance was sprawled out over the the couch.

Hunk’s mouth opened in a soft ‘O’ of understanding. Then, in a much quieter voice asked, “I thought you were supposed to be meeting Pidge for some stealth training thing?”

“Ah, yeah, I’ll be there soon, but...” Keith hesitated, looking down at Lance’s face where he was dozing peacefully on his lap. “I didn’t want to wake him.”

Hunk bit his lip to stop from grinning too obviously. “He’s a pretty heavy sleeper. I’m not sure getting up even _would_ wake him.”

“I…” Keith blushed, fingers of the hand he hand gently resting on Lance’s head curling into dark hair. “I didn’t want… to leave him by himself to wake up alone, either.”

A breathy snort of laughter escaped from Hunk’s nose, and he didn’t bother to not smile openly. “Want me to tell Pidge you’re gonna be late?”

Keith smiled gratefully. “If you could, thanks,” and Hunk watched his fingers untangle from Lance’s hair to start stroking through it softly, unconsciously petting his head as Keith relaxed again.

When Hunk was leaving Keith picked up humming again, and Hunk realized he knew the song from somewhere. He’d never heard the real track, but Hunk recognized it as one of the songs Lance had a habit of constantly singing to himself.

 

v.

The adrenaline from the battle that had just ended was still thrumming strong in Hunk’s veins, wiring him up and making him restless with lingering paranoia. It hadn't been a bad fight, and Hunk was pretty sure no one had actually been in all that much danger of dying today, but as someone who was made for lovin’ like him Hunk always had a hard time shaking off the last dregs of fear from every battle fought.

Lance was often the same way, more of a lover than fighter like Hunk was. But now was apparently not one of those less-than pleasant times, because right now instead of fighting to get control over his breathing Lance was currently flirting outrageously with his boyfriend.

“Babe, that was so amazing!” Lance crooned, grabbing Keith by the waist to pull their bodies together. “You were so hot out there, cutting through those robo-bastards like they were butter. You’re so badass, I swear I’ll never get over it.”

Keith grinned, letting himself be dragged into Lance’s embrace easily. “Yeah, well I wasn’t out there by myself. Think I didn’t notice how you were covering my back with those perfect shots of yours?”

Lance didn’t just glow at the praise: he lit up like gay firecracker. “Well I couldn’t exactly cover your back if I didn’t know you had mine, right? You never letting anyone get near me is the only reason I have time to line up my aim.”

“Hmm.” One of Keith’s hands landed on Lance’s waist, and he tilted his head up so that their faces were inches apart. “Well it's a good thing we had each other then. Since we make such a good team and all.”

“If you two would be so kind as to remember where we are,” Hunk interrupted, gesturing around at the walls of the Galra base they were in the middle of infiltrating. “I’d appreciate if instead of you guys making out we actually got on with this mission before someone else tries to kill us? Because I feel like we should be getting out of here. So we don’t die.”

Lance didn’t look nearly as disturbed by this statement as Hunk would have liked, but he did at least look annoyed. Or disappointed. Annoysappointed? “Way to ruin the mood, bro.”

“Yeah, man,” Keith chimed in unhelpfully. “Read the atmosphere.”

Hunk decided next time he was just gonna leave without them.

 

\--

+1

It was barely the start of being late at night, and three of them were watching a movie together. They had started out with four, but Shiro had only stayed for about the first ten minutes before his body caught on to the fact that he’d stopped moving and demanded he sleep, and after only a five minute struggle of trying to stay up past 9:30 pm Shiro gave up and went to bed.

Hunk did not think anything of the fact that that left him alone with Keith and Lance. Really, why would that matter? They’d be cuddled up on one couch like always and Hunk wouldn’t even notice them from over on the loveseat.

Or at least, he _shouldn’t_ have noticed them. Wouldn’t have, if they’d just been watching the stupid movie like Hunk was trying to. And like, he was a tolerant dude here! Some low whispering here and there wouldn’t have bothered him, and he didn’t even mind when they got all sappy on each other. But the little whispers had turned to giggling, and the giggling broke off into someone moaning, and SERIOUSLY, guys, it’s been two whole years, you can only take the honeymooning so freaking far here!

As he’d feared, when Hunk glanced over to the other couch he was greeted with the unwholesome sight of Keith pinning Lance to the couch, devouring his mouth in a kiss while one of Lance’s hands was on Keith’s ass and sliding into the back of his jeans.

“Oh my GOD, you ANIMALS!” Hunk screeched, grabbing the nearest object and flinging it at them in hopes of breaking up their mating. “I am sitting _THREE FEET_ away from you!”

The empty juice pouch bounced off of Keith’s head, and he peeled himself away from his boyfriend to glare at Hunk.

Lance looked equally annoyed, squawking “What?! We weren't DOING anything!”

“Your hand is in his _pants_!”

“Only for a little harmless groping!” Lance defended, making an obscene squeezing gesture with one hand.

Hunk upended the bowl of snack corn on them as he left the room.

**Author's Note:**

> oh shit- Har Mar Superstar! I totally forgot to add anywhere that the song they're both singing is "Sunshine" by Har Mar Superstar, my bad.


End file.
